I had been skating a hockey practice at least once a week for the last 3 weeks with the Crash Test Dummies, which is the beginner PHA hockey team that Karen plays on. I knew I wasn't going to be able to start at my old level, as the peripheral neuropathy left over in my feet has prevented me from skating anywhere close to my old level. Each time I skated a practice, I was a little better, but I still have a long way to go. My legs aren't nearly as strong as they were prior to chemo, and my quads always seemed to turn to jello at some point during each practice. I now have a little feeling in the tips of my toes, but the rest of the toes through the middle is still numb on each foot. My left foot is doing a little better than the right, and it shows in my skating, where all my skating is stronger when it involves the left foot over the right. I have also continued to rock climb about twice a week, and my strength is definitely returning. I still haven't managed anything more than a 5.10 climb, but it has definitely helped me regain a lot of lost strength.

It's a good thing that I had been working hard to get back on the ice, as the Ice Hawks were short handed tonight, and I was actually able to play a full game at right wing for them. It wasn't pretty, and I found myself sprawled on the ice at one point for no reason other than sloppy footwork. I did manage an assist on our first goal, and I was able to fight the puck away from the other team in overtime and feed it up the ice to my line-mate who scored the game winning goal. It certainly wasn't a planned return to the ice, but I can't complain as it is only 24 days post-treatment for me. It's nice to be surrounded by such supportive people, and I wouldn't have been out there tonight if it wasn't for the help of all those around me, on and off the ice.

I went into Stanford today for a 1:30pm check-up with Dr. Rosenberg and wasn't seen until 5:15pm. They took chest and abdominal X-rays and checked my blood counts. The good news: no evidence of any Hodgkin's Disease and my WBC was up to 4K. The bad news: My heart is enlarged. This is a cause for concern, so I must return to Stanford in one month for another chest X-ray to see if it has reduced in size any - if not, they will run more tests at that time. Both Dr. Rosenberg and Reddy listened to my heart, but they could not hear anything wrong. I was told that I can continue to climb and play hockey, but if I develop any chest pains or shortness of breath, I am not to take it lightly. They are guessing that the radiation caused some damage which has resulted in fluid build-up, and they expect to see it improve with time. My blood work results showed that I am still anemic, with some slight improvement over my last blood test.

I still haven't climbed anything harder than a 10+, but I can still see improvement in my climbing. Carrying my extra weight up the wall has made it a little harder - I really need to build up more strength before I will be able to progress to harder climbs. My skating has remained quite poor, but my feet continue to slowly get their feeling back. I am hoping that I will improve more in the future, but right now ice skating has become frustrating.

This was the first follow-up that I went into with a little bit of worry. My neck has felt tight for the last 3 weeks - something any former Hodgkin's patient would take note of. I have not been itching, and I could not feel any swollen lymph nodes in my neck, but the fact that it has lasted 3 weeks was scary. I saw Dr. Reddy and Dr. Rosenberg today, and Sheila even stopped by to say hello. The experts aren't worried about my neck, as they could not feel any lymph nodes either. They said it is probably just another side effect of my radiation treatment. My blood work and X-rays were all normal, so I don't have to go back for another two months. Their Phase II Trial of the Stanford V treatment continues to go well, with no statistical changes. They are still seeing the same cure rate, and former patients continue to have children. They will be starting a Phase III Trial later in the year. I also found out that Dr. Rosenberg is no longer accepting any new patients, but will continue to follow-up with his existing patients.

When I went in for my previous check-up, I was a little worried because my neck had felt tight for 3 weeks.  Well, that never really changed, so there was a slight concern in my mind going in this time.  Not to mention that I received an e-mail message from a woman named Cheryl - who relapsed 3 years after treatment.  She is the first Stage II patient in the Stanford V trial to relapse.  There went the trial's perfect record on stage II patients, and I was stage III.  Dr. Rosenberg saw me again today, and as always, Sheila stopped by to say hello.  Dr. Rosenberg said that I will have to get used to my neck feeling this way as it isn't likely to change, but he isn't worried.  Sheila also mentioned that she has a new patient in the trial that was worried about the treatment because they read the journal on this web site, and saw all the side effects that I experienced.  As Sheila told them, I am considered an extreme case, as most patients do much better than I did in the trial.  On the other hand, radiation was a breeze for me - proving that each individual is different, and will react in a different way.  So, I now have almost eight months under my belt post-treatment and despite the severe side effects back then, I am doing quite well now.

Yet, here it is. I have just returned from New York City a week ago, so I am definitely out of shape. I always gain a few pounds whenever I return to the Big Apple - Nathan's Hot Dogs and Fries, NY Pizza, Bagels, Yoo-Hoo, etc. I have only managed to climb twice in the last 3 weeks, and I have only played hockey once in the same time frame. I have a few pounds to lose, and I look forward to this trip to help in that department. Spending the whole day climbing, eating only the healthy food I bring with me, and drinking only water. It's going to be a great trip even though I still can't climb at the same level that I did before chemo. I managed to lead a 5.10 today at Mission Cliffs this morning, so I am not too far off. The simple fact that I am healthy enough to make this trip is all that matters.

Life has changed a ton since last summer - new house, new job, new girlfriend, new attitude on life - plain and simple, there is life after cancer and it can be pretty nice.

Those are words to live by, and it was certainly the theme of our climbing vacation. The plan: jump in Bob's Volkswagen Eurovan at 6AM and head off to Las Vegas. We should have arrived by 6PM - in time to do a few things and stay there for the night before heading off the next day for Colorado. We were going to do the Hard Hat Tour of the Hoover Dam and check out the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton. We would have plenty of time in Las Vegas to do things before having to get back on the road.

Our first clue that this voyage was ill-fated was when we discovered that Bob had forgotten the CD changer for the Eurovan - so the CDs I had selected for this trip were useless. We pressed on anyway, brave adventurers that we were - willing to be musically challenged for the entire trip, with only Bob's priceless collection of Car-Talk tapes for entertainment. We were making good time, and it appeared as if we would arrive in Las Vegas a little earlier than expected. Then, while I was at the helm of our own little Exxon Valdez, we began to smell something. A few minutes later, the air conditioning shut off - not a good thing. We were driving in the middle of the desert (about 117 degrees Fahrenheit), and we were about 1/3 of the way between Barstow and Las Vegas. Shortly thereafter, the alternator light came on, the RPMs dropped to 0, and our sorry butts were stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the desert.

I whipped out the old cell phone, and miraculously it worked in the middle of nowhere! We contacted AAA and they arranged for a free tow back to Barstow - 60 miles in the wrong direction. We weren't happy about it, but we hoped that maybe we could get things fixed there and still make it to Las Vegas that same night. After we waited over an hour in the desert heat, the tow truck arrived and out stepped Hendley. That's a picture of trusty old Hendley on the left - the man who arrived to rescue us in the desert. After a vote and heated debate, it was decided that taking a chance on Hendley was slightly better than just waiting to die in the desert, but it was a tough call. Upon arrival in Barstow, we found out that the local garage couldn't fix the problem, and that there was no Volkswagen dealership in Barstow. So, another 3 hours and $550 dollars later, we arrived in Las Vegas on the back of a tow truck. We dropped the van off at the closed Volkswagen dealership amidst a mini-plague of grasshoppers, and headed for our hotel. We made it to our room with barely enough energy to climb into bed.

We then rented the last vehicle that the Enterprise Rental car in Las Vegas had, a brand new Chevy Blazer that had just arrived from the dealership. After a mind-numbing conversation with the rental car people, we soon realized that our rental was subject to an inordinate number of ridiculous rules and regulations because we were driving to Colorado. Of course, each new rule resulted in an increase in the rental price. Nevertheless, we loaded all of our climbing gear into the Blazer which had a whopping 9 miles on the odometer when we picked it up. After some minor strategizing and a stop for some lunch we set off to continue on our journey. We stopped for dinner in Utah at Mom's Cafe where Bob made Mom upset by not eating the baked potato that came with his meal. We managed to ditch Mom without any fisticuffs and arrived in the lovely town of Green River, Utah before we crashed for the evening.

We were off to Colorado the next day where we would be staying at a place known as Chautauqua in Boulder, Colorado. This happened to be right next to the Flat Irons which provided some nice scenery. No TVs and no telephones, which was fine since we were there to relax, get away from it all, and spend some time on the rocks. Ya, right - somebody forgot to explain that to the cabin full of screaming, maniacal children that were right next door to us.

We barely arrived in time to squeeze in a quick outing before sundown, so we grabbed the gear and set off on a lovely, long, uphill approach to a place called Wood's Quarry. Upon arrival at the quarry we were pretty beat, but we would not be denied. We had been through a lot. We had overcome the adversity. Sure, we had left our vehicle behind. We had been raked over the coals by everyone who could suck the money from our wallets, but we had made it. Bob had set the top-rope, and it was time to climb - this was finally it!

This was why we had gone through all that nonsense!

We had made it!

"On Belay?"

"Belay is on."

"Climbing."

"Climb On!"

Then the skies opened up and it began to rain.............

We each got in one climb in the rain. We were slipping on the rock, but we had to each climb at least once. After that, we scurried all the way downhill to the cabins and called it a day.

Finally our first "full" day of climbing was here. We headed out early, ate some breakfast, and then went to Happy Hour Crag which is located in Boulder Canyon. The approach to this crag is a brutal uphill climb that sapped me of a lot of my energy before I even had a chance to tie into a rope. A not so subtle reminder that I have not fully recovered from the chemo/radiation. We spent the morning top-roping at Happy Hour. This was an excellent location with easy access to set up top-ropes. As our luck would have it, we were chased off the rock around Noon when a storm came in.

After lunch and a trip to the local climbing supply store the weather cleared up! It had turned into a gorgeous day and we were happy to take advantage of it. We spent the afternoon at a rock called the "Umbrella Tree". This was not a big place - known mostly for it's bouldering problem called the "Monkey Traverse", but it offered some excellent scenery of the back side of the Flat Irons pictured on the left. I actually enjoyed the climbs on this rock quite a bit.

At this point, we began to notice that something was wrong with the ignition of the brand new Chevy Blazer we had rented. We were having trouble getting the key to turn when trying to start it but figured there was some sort of trick to it that we just hadn't figured out yet. The Owner's Manual had no information regarding this, so we just shrugged it off for the moment and went on with our trip.

Today we were off to the Golden Cliffs which are located right above the Coors' Brewery in Golden, Colorado. It was to be a day of lead-climbing as opposed to top-roping, so I would definitely be out of my element. Although I have completed a lead-climbing class post-chemotherapy I still lacked the experience and ability that my friends possessed. Lead-climbing is far more intense than top-roping and experience & confidence are a much bigger part of the game. Again, the approach was non-trivial, although this time it was just a mile long uphill trail to get to the base of the cliffs. Even at the base of the cliffs, the massive Coors' Brewery cannot be ignored as the noise from the many trains and trucks that enter and leave the Brewery can't be avoided. Definitely, not your typical climbing environment.

The rock proved to be equally unfriendly to us and we struggled on climbs that were rated far too low compared to other locations in the area. The weather wasn't much better - it was overcast the entire morning and we climbed under the constant threat of rain. It had taken us way too long to walk up to the cliffs and actually figure out where we were so we weren't about to leave too quickly. On the left is a picture of Bob leading his final route before the rain chased us off the rock just after mid-day and landed us in a restaurant. As you can tell based on my weight, my pre-trip notion of eating healthy out of my backpack each day and losing weight was not happening on this trip. The bad weather lasted the remainder of the afternoon, which gave us a chance to catch up on some lost sleep.

I adopted a new philosophy for life on this trip:

"Every great day has at least one nap in it." - Mike Lachtanski

We decided to head back to Happy Hour Crag again for our final day of climbing. There were a lot of top-rope climbs that we were unable to get to during our rain-shortened first visit to Happy Hour, so we wound up doing that brutal uphill approach yet again. Just as we entered Boulder Canyon, the RPMs in the Chevy Blazer fell down to 0 and we had to pull off to the side of the road. We were lucky that it happened at a spot where the road had a shoulder, as many spots in the canyon did not. What were the odds another vehicle would die! This could not be happening again! Arrrrgggggh! This time it turned out that we could re-start the vehicle and we did so. We drove on and it died one additional time on the way to Happy Hour, but this time we just popped it into Neutral and re-started without having to pull over. The ignition was getting worse, so we knew that there was no way that Bob could chance driving this vehicle back to Las Vegas tomorrow in order to pick up his van.

We had a great day on the rocks despite the car trouble and that damn approach. In order to make it a truly great day, I slipped in a mid-morning nap on a big rock. I did manage to bang my knee on one of my last climbs which made leaving the area as bad as approaching it. Once again, we were chased away by rain in the early afternoon but we had to go exchange the rental car anyway, so we didn't really miss out on much.

The local Enterprise Rental Car place was able to rent us a GMC Jimmy to replace the Blazer, but of course it did not go all that smoothly. They agreed to keep the car from Vegas and get it fixed, and they also agreed to rent us a different vehicle - sending the bill for the new vehicle directly to the Enterprise Rental Car in Las Vegas where we got it. Then they wanted a credit card from one of us to back up the rental in case the other Enterprise Rental Car place in Las Vegas refused to pay the bill! An unbelievable request! The final solution wound up being that we allowed them to have an imprint of the card but refused to sign anything that would authorize them to actually use it. When it rains, it pours.

Per the original plan I flew back home to San Jose today. I was able to reach my flight without incident, but Bob had to drive back to Las Vegas instead of his original plan. The update he received on the Eurovan was not good. The van would not be ready for a while - simply because of the policies of the company that Bob purchased his extended warranty from. The company was quite inflexible and did nothing to take into account the circumstances of Bob being on a trip and the additional costs that he would incur because of this. Since the warranty was already purchased, they had little incentive to meet his needs beyond the letter of the contract itself. They would receive no additional revenue from him so they only did their best to minimize the costs they would incur by following through on their end of the bargain.

Footnote: Bob did make it back to Las Vegas by Monday without incident. He had to leave the van in Vegas to be repaired so he flew back to San Jose. He then flew back to Vegas 2 weekends later to Las Vegas and picked up the van. The repairs were successfully completed although not all the work was covered by the warranty. The drive back home went smoothly. We are now ready for the next climbing trip which looks like it will be Owens River Gorge in October.

It has been an interesting build-up of events to this visit. I have continued to gain weight despite my best efforts to eat healthy. I no longer consume caffeine and have returned to more of my healthy eating habits, yet I have steadily gained weight. At the same time my voice has changed - it has become lower. It was such a noticeable change that many people have commented on it. I have also felt pretty fatigued lately. I was definitely concerned, so I moved my appointment up one week.

Upon arrival at Stanford they were unable to find my veins to draw blood! This hasn't happened since the end of chemo. The first 3 attempts to draw blood were failures, but they managed to succeed on the fourth try. The nurses actually made me wash my hands in warm water to try to get some veins to stand out but it didn't work. At that point I was certain that something was wrong and that I wasn't just being paranoid. I saw Dr. Ernie Hoppe (no relation to the Dr. Hoppe that supervised my radiation treatment.) After explaining my whole story to him from the beginning he returned with Dr. Rosenberg. He whacked me with a hammer a few times, and commented on the fact that my muscle relaxation response after the reflex was delayed. That, combined with my voice and weight gain, were signs of hypothyroidism. This is a side effect seen in some patients much further down the road than I am (only 9 months post treatment.) Dr. Rosenberg's comment: "I suppose if anybody is going to get this side effect and get it sooner than normal it's going to be you."

On the Hodgkin's front, blood counts were good: WBC - 5.2K, Hematocrit - 39.7, so almost back to normal. I have to call in tomorrow to schedule a series of thyroid tests and I should know more shortly.

I went back to Stanford yesterday so that they could draw more blood and it took two pokes this time. Sheila helped me out by getting me in and out in a hurry despite the fact that it is NOT her job to schedule appointments or be involved with my follow-up treatments in any way. Once again she went above and beyond the call of duty for me. She also scheduled my first post-treatment CT scan for me on November 3rd and my next Hodgkin's follow-up appointment for November 11th.

Sheila called me back this afternoon with the test results - I was hypothyroid in a big way. Basically, my thyroid gland no longer functions at all - probably destroyed by the radiation treatment. A normal level of TSH is 4, and my level is 150! This is a measure of the secretion of the pituitary gland as it attempts to stimulate the thyroid gland to do its job, and since my thyroid is doing nothing the pituitary is working major overtime. I have been prescribed Synthroid as the first drug to start to control this problem, and it should take about 2 months for things to normalize. I have to return in a month for more blood work to gauge the effect of Synthroid and see if the dosage needs to be adjusted. I will have to take a thyroid pill every day for the rest of my life.

Last Wednesday, I went back to Stanford for a follow-up blood test to check my TSH and T3 levels. Blood was drawn on the first try, so it was in and out. On Friday, Sheila called to tell me that things were improved, but still not good enough, so they increased my dosage of Synthroid by 25%. I started taking the new dosage today, and I will have another blood test done when I return on November 3rd for my CT scan.

As far as side effects go, I've only lost a few pounds since I started taking Synthroid, but my voice has returned to normal. I still experience frequent muscle cramps, so no improvement there. I must admit that I am worried about the upcoming CT scan on November 3rd - my neck is still tight, so despite the fact that no swollen lymph nodes can be felt externally, I am still concerned.

On the brighter side, Karen and I are now engaged! We also just returned from an outdoor climbing trip to Owens River Gorge this weekend. We experienced no car trouble on this trip. The approaches to the climbs at the Gorge were grueling. By the end of the weekend we were all pretty sore, but it was still fun to be back out on the rocks again.

Eight days ago I went into Stanford for a series of tests: 2 blood tests, a chest X-ray, an abdominal X-ray, and a CT Scan. The tests went smoothly, and they even hit veins on the first try for the blood tests as well as the CT Scan IV. I've had eight days to contemplate the possible results. This is the first time since the end of chemo that I have had a CT scan to look inside and see if anything is growing. As usual, I went in a little worried as my neck tightness has continued and I have been itching a bit the last few weeks. Nothing as severe as the itching that was my only Hodgkin's symptom, but it still made me wonder.

I saw Dr. Chen and Dr. Rosenberg today and was given the news that the CT scan was clean! So all is clear on the Hodgkin's front, but on the hypothyroid side of things, the dosage of Synthroid is still not finalized. My original TSH level was 150. One month ago it was 58. This month it is down to 17, but normal is around 4, so there is still a ways to go. Because the trend is good, it was decided to keep my dosage the same for another month and then re-test to see where I am at. So I will return in one month for a blood test, and then back for another check-up in 2 months.

Unfortunately, my weight is still up there and I am still experiencing muscle cramps - especially when cold. Cold intolerance is a symptom of hypothyroidism, but muscle cramping is not. It's not a major issue, but it will often wake me during the night when a muscle cramps up. I am still playing hockey and I can see that my skating continues to slowly improve. Rock climbing is not going as well - my increased weight continues to keep me from climbing anything tougher than a 10+ these days.

I went in last week for a blood test to have my TSH and free T4 levels tested again. My TSH level is down to 7.3, so once again my dosage was kept the same. TSH levels so far: 150, 58, 17, and 7.3. The goal is to achieve a TSH level less than 4.

On the Hodgkins front, today is the one year anniversary of the end of my treatment. One alarming development has been the return of the itching that I experienced before my diagnosis. It has been slowly building for the last month, and has recently become annoying enough for me to take notice. It is not quite as severe as before, as I am not waking up in the middle of the night because of it. It is however, once again symmetrical - currently both of my legs itch just below the knees. I will sure to mention this on my next follow-up at the beginning of January and see what the experts think.

I went in to this check-up knowing that I was itching again. I informed Dr. Rosenberg about this and although he was slightly concerned, it is his opinion that everything is ok since all my tests came back normal - including my TSH level. My TSH level is now 3.5, and normal is under 4, so it seems as if the hypothyroidism is under control. Since I have now crossed the post-treatment 1 year point, I am supposed to move to a check up every 3 months instead of every 2 months. Because of the itching, my next check-up is two months away in March. I have also been told that if the itching spreads and becomes worse to go back in immediately.

Today's check-up followed the pattern of my last few visits in every detail. They had trouble finding my veins for the blood tests, so I was poked multiple times. I had to wait at least an hour for my X-rays, and then of course the obligatory multiple hour wait for my actual appointment. It is sad to say that business is booming for Stanford's Oncology Day Care facility. The itching that was worrying me before my last couple of appointments wasn't an issue this time, so I was given a quick physical exam and told that all seems well. Dr. Rosenberg has now moved me to my second year schedule of 3-month follow-ups instead of 2! In this case I don't have to go back until July because Dr. Rosenberg is on vacation for all of June.

Well, it is pretty amazing how things work out in life. If it weren't for my cancer diagnosis, this day would have never occurred. It was my sickness that allowed me to get to know Karen, and today we got married. It was a fun ceremony and reception, quite different from your normal wedding. We hired a troupe of actors to perform a murder mystery during our reception, and they did an excellent job. Every good wedding has a few gunshots in it, and it doesn't hurt to have Xena the Warrior Princess and Austin Powers in attendance as well.  Everyone had fun and spent a lot of time laughing from the "extra" marriage vows, to the Hockey Jerseys and Pucks, and the cast of characters running around shooting up the place.  No dorky dances, just fun!

Well, it has been four months since my last check-up. I am on a 3-month schedule, but Dr. Rosenberg was on vacation last month, so I had to wait an extra month. Same old story. Waited all day to be seen at Stanford, after having my arms poked multiple times looking for a vein. This time it was a little bit more painful than most, as the nurse kept trying over and over to stick the needle into my vein after it was through my skin - to no success. I really thought this vein situation was temporary, but they are not returning to the surface of my arms. The good news is that everything checked out fine, and I don't have to return until October. I also got a surprise when I was told that after my next visit I will go to a schedule of a check-up every 6 months! That is excellent news.

Because this visit was only 1 year eleven months post-chemo, the decided to do one more 3 month follow-up in February before moving me to a six month schedule. I will also have a CT scan before that visit, so they will take a nice close look inside to make sure everything is ok before cutting me loose. This visit was smooth as silk - they even hit a vein on the first try for the blood test! My next visit is not scheduled at this time due to Y2K - they are not taking appointments yet. I was told to call in and schedule my February visit towards the end of November. Most patients that relapse do so within 2 years of treatment, so the next check-up will be a big one in more ways than one.

Well, I called Stanford yesterday to have my CT Scan moved up because of abdominal pain in my left side. Every time I go in for a check-up they probe around my abdomen to make sure they don't feel any enlarged organs, and they always check the spleen as it was believed that my spleen contained Hodgkin's before treatment. The abdominal pain started on Friday and has been a constant ache since then, and it is in the general area of the spleen. The area is sore to the touch, and I just didn't feel like waiting another 3 weeks for the originally scheduled appointments.

The CT Scan went off without a hitch, except the doctor did not even want to attempt to give me the Iodine IV in a vein below the elbow on either arm. He said that he didn't see any good choices, as my veins seem to be worse than ever. He did manage to successfully give me the IV in a vein in my left bicep, which was the first time I have had a needle in that part of the arm. My follow-up appointment with Dr Rosenberg is now rescheduled for next Wednesday the 19th, and I must say that I am more than a bit concerned over what they may see with today's CT Scan.

As I sat at work this afternoon, I decided to call and see if I could get Dr. Rosenberg to look at the CT Scan results today instead of waiting the week. The pain seemed to be getting worse, and I didn't feel well. It is hard to pinpoint exactly what is going on, but the pain seems to be on both sides of my abdomen now. The left side is definitely more constant, and the pain is not severe, but it is there. I left a message asking Dr. Rosenberg to take a look, and he called me back promptly. The CT Scan results were perfectly normal. Good news indeed, but it doesn't explain anything. We will see if it continues to get worse, or if I can just wait until my scheduled appointment next Wednesday.

I was driving home after my appointment at Stanford and I decided to call my work voicemail and check for messages. I was only gone from work for a couple of hours, and I was looking forward to getting home. I found 7 messages and an urgent issue that I felt I needed to attend to. Instead of going home, I went back to work and wound up getting home late. I just breezed through my 2-year post chemo check-up, and I was getting home late feeling angry about the way certain things have gone at work lately. I looked at myself and realized that a lot of the lesson I had learned has been lost. My illness taught me that the issues at work are not as important as they seem to be. Work problems aren't worth bringing home into your personal life. It is your friends and family that are important, and they are so often pushed aside for these lesser matters. Where was my ability to leave it all behind in the office and enjoy my personal time? Here I found myself coming home from work late and stressing out about events at work. I must admit that I am ashamed of myself. After all I have been through, I should know better.

All tests came back normal today and I don't have to go back for 6 months! Truly a milestone to be enjoyed. The pain in my side is nothing more than a discomfort now, and Dr. Rosenberg is not concerned at all. My appointment is so far out that I couldn't even schedule it today!! A day to celebrate health and also a day to remind myself not to forget what is important.

For the past 4 weeks, I had been experiencing 2 disturbing symptoms. My neck has been really tight. At times it has been hard to swallow, but I do not have a sore throat. Through physical examination, I was not able to feel any swollen lymph nodes, but something was certainly not right. Some days were worse than others, but my neck usually felt normal when I woke up. On certain days, as the day went on my neck would get tighter and tighter. Combine my neck with the fact that my itching has returned and I just didn't feel like waiting 5 more months to go back for a check-up.

When I arrived for my impromptu visit, the nurse drawing blood that day hit a vein in my right arm on the first try. It has been a long time since anyone tried to draw blood from my right arm, so that was a pleasant surprise. Upon seeing Dr. Rosenberg, he reminded me that I was just given a series of tests 6 weeks ago that showed no evidence of Hodgkin's disease. That is all well and good, but something is not right in my neck, so more tests will be done. I have a neck CT Scan scheduled for next week, and then an appointment with an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor in early April.

I drove up to Stanford in the evening for the CT Scan of the neck. This was the first time that I have had a scan in the evening and things were looking good. No traffic, plenty of parking spaces, and I arrived to an empty waiting room. Since it was a neck CT Scan I didn't even have to drink any Barium Sulfate. Everything was set up for this to be a breeze.

A CT Scan requires an Iodine IV to get the best picture. This IV is always done by a doctor (not a nurse) as it can be a dangerous thing. People can have serious allergic reactions to Iodine and other issues can be caused if the Iodine is injected into you but not into a vein. After lying on the CT Scan table and having my head strapped down, in came the doctor to administer the IV. I suggested the vein in the bicep of my left arm as that was the vein used for my last CT Scan IV and the doctor that used it suggested I point it out to others in the future. This doctor declined to follow my advice, and she proceeded to attempt a vein in my left forearm and missed. Not only did she miss, but she was very heavy handed with the needle - it felt like she using an Exacto-knife on me. Unfortunately with my head strapped down, I could not see what was going on - I could only feel it. After penetrating the skin and missing, she dug around a while trying to actually get the needle in the vein but she came up empty. She removed the needle and I released the death grip that my right hand had on the edge of the table and resumed breathing. For her next point of insertion, she decided to go for a vein in my left wrist. She dug around here for quite a while exposing me to a new form of torture, but still nothing. She removed the needle and re-inserted it 2 more times in the same vicinity, digging around each time before giving up. At this point, my left hand and wrist were in total pain. At last she seemed to find a vein in my hand and she commented that the flow in this vein was not good and she asked me if it hurt. I said, "Yes" and she pulled the needle out! Reaching a point of frustration I requested yet again that she try the left bicep, and she finally agreed to the idea. For her fifth attempt, she went for the left bicep. She commented that she didn't think this was a good idea as the vein looked pretty deep. Once again I felt some serious pain and then she said "It collapsed." and out came the needle.

At this point my entire left arm was in pain and I wanted to get a look at what was going on despite the head restraint. I was able to wriggle my head a bit and take a look. My left wrist had a bunch of blood on it and looked swollen. From what I could gather from the conversation going on between her and the CT Scan technician, she went completely through the vein in my left bicep with the needle and came out the other side of it. This meant that it could not be used because the Iodine could cause issues if pumped into me.

I was completely uninterested in any more attempts being made at this point, and I suggested they do the CT Scan without the IV. The doctor said it was very important to have the IV and she was going to the try the right arm next. At my request, not hers, they wrapped my arm in warm towels for a few minutes before trying it. I knew that in the chemo ward they would wrap your arm in warm towels before giving you chemo because it helps to bring out your veins. After the warm towel wrap she made her sixth attempt into my right forearm. At this point my left wrist and hand hurt so much that I couldn't even use it to hold the left edge of the table. She then went for the right hand and made two more attempts in my hand before I just couldn't take it any more. I told them to do the scan with no IV, and they consented. When I walked out of there, it was an hour later and the waiting room was full of people. It was hard to drive home because my hands were in pain, but I was glad to be out of there. It is not going to be easy for me to go back and do another CT Scan at this point, but I am worried that the one that was done will not be good enough.

Well, it is usually nice to experience new things; however, having a camera inserted into my nose was not one of the things I was hoping to accomplish in my life. My visit to the Ear/Nose/Throat Clinic at Stanford today resulted in a thorough examination including a camera on a wire being inserted into my nose and all the way down my throat. This was done multiple times with the doctor allowing other student doctors to "Take a Look" while I sat there. The end result of this bizarre experience is that I have been diagnosed with "Acid Reflux." The area near my vocal cords by my esophagus was described as "Cherry Red" and I have been prescribed an Antacid to help alleviate this issue. The doctor is claiming that this could indeed be the cause of the tightness I feel in my neck, but it will take 4-6 weeks to figure it out. I am skeptical, but I am willing to go along with it and see what happens.

As scheduled, I saw Dr. Rosenberg today. They were able to draw blood on the second attempt, so no repeat of the previous fiasco when I went in for my CT Scan. After being examined by the attending physician, Dr Rosenberg came in and said, "So, you've got GERD?" He was referring to Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease, which is the big, long, important sounding medical term for Heartburn. He appeared skeptical, just like I am, that GERD is the reason that my neck feels tight, but at this point there aren't any better ideas floating around. I'll do the Antacid thing for 6 weeks and see what happens. After that, I am scheduled to revisit Dr. Rosenberg in 3 months for a follow-up visit, and his concern focuses far more on my itching than my neck. The neck CT Scan showed nothing, he can't feel anything, so my neck doesn't concern him very much.

Well, a pretty routine check-up in most accounts. Blood drawn on the second attempt, and I had no no real issues going in. I have been put back on a 6 month schedule, so won't be back until 2001. Dr. Rosenberg did ask me to go see a dermatologist to have some moles looked at, but he wasn't overly concerned. I'm hopeful I can make it 6 months this time. :)

I did eventually get to see a dermatologist as requested by Dr. Rosenberg, and was told that my moles "lacked character" which is a good thing. Visits every 6 months to the dermatologist seem to be a part of the routine now just to play it safe. My next dermatologist visit is at the end of July. There was difficulty drawing my blood again for my check-up, but that isn't exactly a surprise. I passed all my tests and don't have to return for another 6 months.

Another routine visit on the Hodgkin's front, although I did have mole removed by the Dermatologist. A biopsy on the mole removed came back negative so there was no issue.  Dr. Rosenberg also informed me that they have now changed the Stanford V Protocol. They have replaced the Nitrogen Mustard with a newer chemo drug. In theory, the fact that I have no noticeable veins in my arms was caused by the Nitrogen Mustard. The hope is that future patients will not have this issue post treatment now that the Nitrogen Mustard has been replaced.

Not too long after my last entry I had ballooned up to 180 lbs.  At that time I went on an outdoor climbing trip to a place in California known as Lover's Leap.  It was a multi-pitch climb that took me to the brink of exhaustion.  It was obvious to me that I had to do something about my weight.  After getting more disciplined with my eating, my weight started to drop.  I visited Lover's Leap two additional times later in the summer and did much better.  I was not leading, only following and cleaning the gear, but the climbing was excellent.  Along with my improved climbing outdoors, my climbing in the gym also dramatically improved.  I have been able to flash a few 5.11 climbs in the gym, which is something I had not been able to do post-chemo.  The best I ever did pre-chemo was 5.11+, so I am only one partial grade behind at this point.

Climbing aside, there were concerns as I went in for this check-up. Back in November I had experienced a few days of lower abdominal pain that was very noticeable.  The location of the pain meant it could have certainly involved a lymph node.  It went away and never returned.  I also have been experiencing some itching in my shins, which is the same location my original itching symptoms started many years ago.  These facts made me eager to get my check up done.

After the obligatory delays accompanied by multiple attempts to draw blood, I saw Dr. Rosenberg.  He was concerned about the symptoms I reported, but my White Blood Count was good and my X-Ray was clean.  I don't have to return for 6 months unless the itching continues to get worse.  Should it get worse then I am to return for additional tests, most likely to start with a CT Scan.

Although I haven't improved my climbing at all, I was able to head in to this check up without any major concerns gnawing at me. All the things I was worried about going in to my last visit dissipated and did not return. This visit was pretty uneventful. All the usual delays and when I was finally seen it was just a quick perusal by Dr. Rosenberg. He was very behind schedule, so he gave me the quick once over and gave me the choice of waiting for my X-Rays and blood work to show up and be read, or just leave. I chose to leave and Dr. Rosenberg will call me if anything turns up abnormal.

The next visit is not for 6 months, but it will mark 5 years post treatment when I go in for that one. A big milestone indeed. If that one is clear, I will go on to a yearly check-up schedule!

Within the six months leading up to this checkup I also lost a friend to cancer, as Carol Braunshausen lost her battle with the disease.  She fought longer and harder than I had to, yet it was not enough.  She was there for me in my battle and she will never be forgotten.  That, along with the packed house I witnessed at the Oncology Clinic, reminds me that all forms of cancer are everywhere in our lives.  To that end, I submitted a recipe to the Cookbook for Cancer to possibly help others in their fight.  My recipe was for a fruit smoothie as smoothies are an excellent option for those fighting cancer and having trouble eating during their treatments.

I returned on crutches with no diagnosis.  The candidates are: Gout, Pseudogout, Joint Infection, and ligament damage.  X-Rays showed no bone damage.  Blood work showed normal levels of Uric Acid, so that kind of diminishes the Gout theory.  I am to stay off it for the weekend and return on Monday unless it has gotten better.  I have been prescribed an anti-inflammatory drug, an antibiotic, and a pain killer to take between now and Monday.  The ankle is still very swollen, the skin there is red, and it is warm to the touch.  So I guess I won't know more for a couple of days, but returning to my habit of self-diagnosis through information from the Internet, I am going with Pseudogout.

Update: After a Monday return for no reason, I am left feeling better without ever knowing what was truly wrong.  An excellent job of treating symptoms by the doctors who don't seem to care what the actual cause was.  I am to finish out the meds they gave me and have no need to return unless it happens again.

I was also told today that they have reduced the amount of radiation they now give along with the Stanford V chemo.  I argued my way to slightly less radiation when I was treated so I am glad to hear that they are moving in this direction.

When I return for my next visit in a year they will have a new building opened for treating Cancer patients.  It will be nice to have a new facility to visit as their current one is definitely aged, but I wish that there wasn't a need for such a place.

I became very concerned and rushed to the cage, and thank goodness he started to climb up the side and on to a branch. He seemed ok.  I retrieved him from the branch and to my utter amazement on the bottom of the cage I saw an egg! <blink>

After rubbing my eyes it was still there!  It was now time to adapt.  Sonny = Sunny.  I have changed some parts of this site to reflect my new understanding, but I do intend to leave the URL the same as many people link to my site so Hodgkin's Patients can read about my treatment experiences.  It is going to take me some time to get used to saying "Good Girl" and I've got to make sure I discourage her from laying more eggs.  She is doing well and so far shows no ill effects from the experience other than the nickname Egg Head. ;)

I started exercising 6 days a week combining both aerobic and anaerobic exercising, along with some slight changes to my eating habits.  I could no longer look toward climbing to be my exercise as it was not enough. I had to exercise to improve my climbing much like I did prior to my treatment.    I knew I had to start slow and didn't set any goals except to improve my climbing through exercise.  On Mon/Wed/Fri I used hand weights to build arm strength and endurance and on Tue/Thu/Sat I would go running.  During the summer many of the Saturday runs were dropped in favor of trips to the local outdoor Crag at Castle Rock State Park for a hike and climb.  It has been a lot of fun to re-explore those rocks.  I took it easy and didn't do anything extreme and I have been happy with the results. 

Combining the exercise with slightly healthier eating habits and in 5 months I have lost 23 pounds.  The weight loss combined with increased strength has me climbing 5.10c again.  My current goal is to be climbing 5.11a in the gym before a planned climbing trip to Italy in May, 2006.  This will be tough to achieve as the jump from 5.10d to 5.11a is significant, but it is one I have done before so I remain optimistic.

At the same time that I started to get back in shape I found myself also looking for something new to learn.  It was almost 8 years ago that I learned to Rock Climb and play Ice Hockey and I felt I needed a new learning experience.  I looked at a lot of options before deciding that I wanted to learn to ride a motorcycle.  This seemed like a good challenge for me as I don't have experience driving a stick shift car and most motorcycles are manual transmissions.  There are many nay-sayers around me who question the wisdom of my choice, but I have no plans to just sit around and wait until my time on this planet is up.  Fear is healthy but you can't let it rule your life.

After doing a lot of research into Motorcycling, it became obvious that the best place to start was by taking a MSF Basic Rider Course.  The classes are pretty popular so I had to wait 6 weeks for my class to begin.  During that time I researched motorcycle gear and tried to learn everything I could by reading everything I could find on the web.  I also read the book Proficient Motorcycling by David Hough.  Despite starting from zero experience and not being proficient with a stick shift car I was able to pass the class without difficulty.  Two weeks later I received an M1 endorsement on my driver's license and today I picked up my first Motorcycle: a 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 250.

I decided to start small and learn to be a proficient rider before trying to bite off a more powerful bike.  I really don't know where this is going to lead me.  I may very well decide that I don't like dealing with the extra risk of riding over driving and walk away, but at least I will find out for myself.  It's been fun to research a whole new topic and culture and I've enjoyed the process every step of the way and look forward to all the learning ahead.

Now upon receiving the Prednisone prescription I instantly became concerned since that was one of my chemo drugs.  I hate Prednisone and really did not want to take it, but I did some more reading online and found that what I was prescribed was the accepted treatment for a systemic Poison Oak reaction.  I hesitated one more day to start the treatment, but with the rash continuing to spread I decided it was for the best and took the prescription.  Atarax would stop the itching while the Prednisone would suppress my immune system and hopefully stop the reaction.  I would be on Prednisone for 9 days: 3 days at 60mg, 3 days at 40mg, and 3 days at 20mg.  This would be nothing like the nastiness of the 12 weeks of Prednisone I took during chemo.  The Prednisone bottle did have a warning on it to stray away from anyone who was sick as my immune system would be suppressed.

Monday was my last day of Prednisone and on Tuesday I started to feel pretty crappy.  By the end of the day I was certain I was coming down with a cold or flu as my body ached all over and my lungs were especially painful.  I contemplated not going in for my check-up because I felt so bad but I decided I would stay far from everyone and make sure I was ok. I am glad I did.

Dr. Rosenberg became instantly concerned when I explained that I had taken Prednisone and that I was sure I was starting a nasty cold/flu.  He said, "Well I have good news and bad news for you.  Most Hodgkin's patients become almost immune to Poison Oak after treatment because of the effect the treatment has on the T-Cells in the body.  So the good news is that you have healthy functioning T-Cells in your immune system or you would not have had such a reaction to the Poison Oak.  The bad news; however, is that you should not have taken the Prednisone as prescribed because it puts you at risk."  It turns out that because I received Radiation during my treatment there are issues that can be caused by putting Prednisone in my body and then stopping it.  Special care needs to be taken with using Prednisone on anyone who has received Radiation treatments, a fact that neither I nor my other doctor was aware of.

So the timing of my visit (2 days after stopping the Prednisone) and the way I was feeling (painful breathing) was a cause for concern.  It is very possible that my lungs have come down with Pleurisy (a swelling of the lung membranes) which makes breathing very painful and can lead to worse things like filling of the lungs with fluid.  It hurt to fully inhale while I was at the clinic and that is a definite sign of Pleurisy.  I had to wait until my chest X-Ray could be examined by Dr. Rosenberg to make sure there wasn't anything visible on it in my lungs.  He let me go, but said if my condition gets worse or if I have shortness of breath then I am to return immediately.  He also recommended that I contact his office should any other doctor prescribe me Prednisone again in the future.  So 8 years NED (No Evidence of Disease) has been reached, which is a cause for celebration, but I feel so crappy that celebration will have to wait.  Hopefully I won't be returning to him because this gets worse.  Assuming all goes well, I don't go back for another year.

• Blue 15 (me)
• Blue 88 (a guy who raced when he was young)
• Orange 17 (the guy who won his last race)
• White 11 (the guy with the top qualifying time)
• Black 93 (Steve)
• Red 8 (Kevin)